November 20, 2009

Parashat Toldot--Thanksgiving

The word “Thanksgiving” is an assertion. From it, we learn that the appropriate response to gratitude is giving. Thanksgiving. Because we feel deeply grateful for what we have in our lives, we give something of ourselves to someone or something else.

In this week’s Torah Portion, Parashat Toldot, we encounter the opposite of thanksgiving. Said simply, this is a parashah that focuses on ingratitude and taking. Jacob pushes his (slightly) older brother Esau into selling him his birthright for a cup of soup, and then Jacob steals Esau’s blessing through outward trickery. They boys’ parents, Isaac and Rebekah, each choose their favorite son and support his efforts.

If this were the end of the Torah’s story about thanksgiving, we would be in a sorry state. In fact, it’s just the beginning. The real story of Jacob and Esau is not the taking or the trickery, but the gratitude and giving that come later. For me, the real story of Jacob and Esau is one of reconciliation and redemption. But, that is still yet to come...

The joy of studying Torah each week is the spiritual reflection that is possible when we know the end of the story, but willfully ignore it. This week we learn of taking and losing. This week we are left to consider the isolation and unhappiness that selfishness breeds. We are left longing for giving and gratitude. (and we know they are still yet to come)

As we move toward Shabbat, and then toward the holiday of Thanksgiving, I invite you to reflect again on the word “thanksgiving.” This word implicitly asserts that living a life filled with gratitude is insufficient. Unlike gratitude, thanksgiving is renewable. It spreads from person to person, life to life, soul to soul. Gratitude is a feeling. Thanksgiving is an action. In fact, this week, we hear a call to action: Seek out gratitude. Embrace opportunities for giving.

Questions for further reflection (perfect for family-sharing during Shabbat meals):

  • What are you grateful for in your life? 
  • How might your gratitude inspire you to give? 
  • What gifts do you still have yet to share with the world, and how might they be used to help others?

November 13, 2009

Parashat Chayei Sarah--Choosing Meaning

They say that Abraham was the first Jew, because God said to him “Lekh l’kha!” (Go!) and Abraham went.

They say that Ruth was the first convert, because Naomi said to her “Go back to your people,” and instead she stayed, saying “Your people will be my people.”

And both of those accounts might be true, but I believe Rebekah was the first Jew by choice. Because, in this week’s Torah portion, Parashat Chayei Sarah, Rebekah’s family asks her, “Will you go with this man?” And Rebekah answers, “I will go.”

“This man,” by the way, is Abraham’s servant, sent by Abraham to find a bride for his son Isaac. And this servant believes Rebekah is not only the best choice for a bride, but someone sent by God for Isaac. What is incredible about this little piece of text is that it doesn’t really matter what the servant thinks, what Rebekah’s family wants, or what God ordains. The choice is Rebekah’s.

“Will you go?” they ask.

“I will go,” she says.

Rebekah is the first Jew by choice. Rebekah is asked and she agrees.

I imagine that Rebekah paused a long time before answering the question “Will you go?”  I imagine that in her pondering she heard a divine whisper saying to her, “What will be the meaning of your life?”

(As long as we are imagining the question and divine whispers, we might as well imagine the answer, as anachronistic as it may be!)

Yes, I imagine that it was the twentieth century philosopher Victor Frankl who answered, “I doubt whether a doctor can answer this question in general terms. For the meaning of life differs from [person to person], from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment.”

The moment that Rebekah answered, “I will go,” what she really said was, “My life will take on a new, unprecedented, and as of yet unknown meaning.”

In our lives, we are asked the question “Will you go?” again and again, in different forms and in new iterations, always with the same divine whisper “What will be the meaning of your life?” The answers we supply to these questions have ripple effects. They determine the purpose of our lives (if not forever, at least for a given moment).

This week, Torah invites us to reflect on the “Will you go?” questions of our lives, those already asked and answered and those, as of yet, still unimagined. The text encourages us to consider our own responses, and possibly even nudges us to take a risk or two. This is a Shabbat for renewed purpose and direction. This is a Shabbat for thanking Rebekah.

Shabbat Shalom!

Questions for further reflection (perfect for family-sharing during Shabbat meals):


  • Have there been moments in your life when you were asked to take a new direction in life? How did you answer and how did it effect things to come?
  • Right now, in one sentence, what would you say is the purpose of your life? How has your answer to this question changed over time?

November 6, 2009

Parashat Vayera--A Community of Welcoming

This past Shabbat, I experienced pure joy as I gathered with many of our TIOH 6th Grade Religious School Families and our 6th Grade teachers (Libby and Manda) at the Karic family’s home for Shabbat dinner.  As each guest arrived, the Karics greeted us warmly.  And, soon, everyone was greeting one another.  As the evening drew to a close, one parent told me she had spoken to many, many people she had never met before.  This, to me, is what it means to be a welcoming community.  This week’s Torah portion, Parashat Vayera, offers us the perfect opportunity to reflect on our own practice of welcoming.

The Torah Portion Reads:

Adonai appeared to [Abraham] by the terebinths of Mamre; he was sitting at the entrance of the tent as the day grew hot. Looking up, he saw three men standing near him. As soon as he saw them, he ran from the entrance of the tent to greet them and, bowing to the ground, he said, "My lords, if it please you, do not go on past your servant. Let a little water be brought; bathe your feet and recline under the tree. And let me fetch a morsel of bread that you may refresh yourselves; then go on—seeing that you have come your servant's way." They replied, "Do as you have said." (Genesis 18:1-5).
Parashat Vayera is considered by many to be our tradition’s definitive text on the practice of welcoming.  The commentator Rashi teaches us that Abraham is sitting at the entrance of his tent because he is in the process of healing from his circumcision.  He is at the ripe age of 99.  So, Abraham is sitting outside his tent, on his land, focusing on his life, and his issues.  At that moment, three strangers appear (later we are taught these strangers are actually angels).  Despite all this, Abraham steps out of himself, his life, and his own experiences and welcomes the three men into his home.  He offers them food, water, refreshment, and rest.  From this text, we learn the value of hachnasat orchim, welcoming guests.

This past Tuesday night, a group of fourteen TIOH 6th grade families gathered.  Each of these families has volunteered to host an Israeli student in their home during our Partnership visit with Israelis students from the Tzahala School.  These families are living out the core values of TIOH:  A welcoming community, connected to one another and to the land and people of Israel.  Again, this past week, my soul was filled as I understood the kindness these families were extending to our soon-to-be communal guests.

In his book The Spirituality of Welcoming, Ron Wolfson writes:

The spirituality of welcoming elevates both the guest and the host.  A warm greeting eases the unspoken anxiety a guest feels at being a stranger and immediately answers the first question anyone in a strange place asks:  Will I be welcome here?  For the host, the act of hospitality is a gesture of spiritual generosity, uplifting the soul.  It is an offering of oneself, an invitation for connection between human and human and, in that meeting, between human and God.
Each week, we begin Sunday morning Religious School with our Flagpole gathering.  This gathering is a time for students, parents, teachers, madrichim, and our TIOH clergy to connect with one another and, through that connection, to connect to the Sacred in our lives.  Our Flagpole time, which is filled with much laughter and joyful singing, is our opportunity to open the doors of our Tent wide, and to invite all to enter.  If you have not yet joined us for this weekly practice of welcoming, I invite you to do so (every Sunday at 9:00 a.m. in Miller Hall).

In our TIOH community, our roles are fluid.  At times, each of us is a host and at times each of us is a guest.  Sometimes we might even feel as if we are the stranger.  When we acknowledge and internalize this reality, we realize that it takes all of us to sustain and build our community of welcoming.

As this year continues and time goes on, there will be opportunities for all of us to open our hearts, our homes, our souls, and our arms to one another.  Parent and student, alike.  This, I believe, is Torah’s call to us this week:  How will you live out the spirituality of welcoming?  How might you serve as a welcoming presence in our community?  What will you do to ensure that we have a community of welcoming?