Parashat Ki Tissa 5769 -- Encountering one another

I was stuck in traffic again this week (an experience, which I know, is not unique to me).

So, I was stuck in traffic and this huge truck was blocking my entire line of visibility. I could see nothing except big wheels, mud flaps, and metal. No one was moving. At all. And, I was becoming very familiar with the intricacies of the back of the truck in front me. Slowly, my eyes came to focus on a sign posted on the truck’s rear: “If you can’t see my mirrors, I can’t see you.”

I must have read that sign a hundred times. “If you can’t see my mirrors, I can’t see you.”

The message was still echoing in my mind as I sat down to study this week’s Torah portion, Parashat Ki Tissa.

“If you can’t see my mirrors, I can’t see you.”

In this week’s Torah portion, the Israelites are stuck in a camp at the bottom of Mount Sinai. Moses, their leader, has disappeared up the mountain, and no one seems to know when he will return. The Israelites start to wonder: What has happened to Moses? And what has happened to Adonai, the One God who has declared the intention to lead us?

Up on the mountain, God is handing Moses the Torah. While down in the camp, “the people saw that Moses was so long in coming down from the mountain, the people gathered against Aaron and said to him, ‘Come, make us a god who shall go before us, for that man Moses, who brought us from the land of Egypt — we do not know what has happened to him.’” (Exodus 32:1).

“If you can’t see my mirrors, I can’t see you.”

It seems that Moses forgot a primary rule of leadership this week. Moses may have been doing important work up on the mountain, but without direct, face-to-face communication with the people he was meant to lead, that work meant nothing. It was Moses’ job to articulate not only his vision before going up the mounting, but also to check in periodically about his ongoing reality. Cut off from their leader, the Israelites began to create their own alternate vision and reality.

When we look into the eyes of another, we see reflected back at us that person’s fears and hopes, intentions and reactions, worries and dreams. But, in today’s world, this kind of interaction—deep, meaningful, individualized, in-person—is becoming rarer and rarer. Despite the fact that we are easily connected by email, facebook, cell phones, and text messages, we miss something when we rely too heavily on these communications. This week our Torah reminds us that when we pass on opportunities to directly connect (in the “real” face-to-face fashion) with those in our personal and professional lives who are important to us, we risk isolating ourselves up on a mountain or down in a camp.

And I invite you to reflect on your own relationships: “If you can’t see my mirrors, I can’t see you.” If you remain in my blind spot, outside my radar, or disconnected from my life, I stop seeing you. If I remain in your blind spot, outside your radar, or disconnected from your life, you stop seeing me.

On this Shabbat, we are called upon to take action:

Who have you left down in the camp? Who has left you down in the camp? From whom are you isolating yourself, up on your mountain? Who has isolated themselves from you, up on their mountain? Who have you left in your blind spot? Whose blind spot are you left in?

The Israelites, faced with abandonment from the person on whom they relied, built a golden calf. On this Shabbat, we are reminded: The answer to our disconnection does not lie in gold or complicated constructions; all we must do is traverse a mountain! The solution to disconnection is simple—connect. Prioritize encounters. Understand them as central to your own health, wellness, and success. Remember: If you can see my mirrors, I can see you.